There are a lot of memes and quotes around the concept of getting lost.We love the romantic, whimsical sound of it.Hell, I even have a shirt with the phrase, “Let’s get lost” on it. And the Jeep tire cover with the saying, “All who wander are not lost” is hands down one of my favorites.
But the truth is, when it comes down to actually getting lost, we are scared as shit. Think about it. Losing a job.Putting the work into losing weight.Losing a game as an athlete.Losing a relationship.Losing money.Losing a house. Losing a big argument or a court case.Losing an image you’ve worked so hard to establish.Losing everything and starting over. The list goes on.
We hold so tightly to the things in which we’ve come to find our safety and security and even our identity. In this process, we HAVE managed to lose something though. We’ve lost our authenticity, our sense of self worth. I’m not talking about a false self worth that is attached to any of the things listed above. That “worth” is based on ego, so if we lose that thing, our sense of worth will also go with it.
I’m talking about our sense of innate worthiness that we were born with, before society taught us otherwise. As we grow, we learn to get so focused on not losing egoic things that we completely lose sight of who we authentically are at our cores.
We attach our worth to our titles, homes, relationships, and images because we are afraid of the possible outcomes if we were to lose those very things we think define us. We think we won’t survive the loss of them. We think of the worst-case scenarios as if they are true and attach ourselves even tighter to these things.Our desire to get lost intensifies as our fear of getting lost slowly takes over.
We become so focused on not losing that we never experience getting lost.
It’s not that these things we attach to are bad. In fact, some of these things may be aligned with our authenticity. It’s not bad to want these things. It’s simply when we are unable to see our worthiness outside of these things that a shift must be made.
I was recently inspired by the boho decor in a kava bar we visited. A week later, I turned my coffee table into a bench and my wine rack into a coffee table, complete with a slab of wood from a splatter paint party. I’ll post pics later. I love it. It’s unconventional. I did have thoughts of “What would people think if they saw this?” And then I reminded myself I was creating a space that I like. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. But we have learned to give a whole lotta shits about what others think, and it takes a lot of work to break that! When we start to shift where our worth lies, we begin to do and live and create in ways that honor our souls.And it feels fucking great!
I challenge you to do something.What is something you have a deep desire to do but have some discomfort around? Maybe you’re afraid of what someone might think if you act on it, how it might look, or what could happen. This could be something big like a career change or donating everything and downsizing. Or it could be something small like dressing authentically for you or taking yourself on a date.There is a reason this thing comes to mind for you. There is something about it that is in line with who you are authentically…the part of you that is dying to be seen, the part of you that is kept hidden because maybe it doesn’t fit the image to which you’ve attached your worth.
Now that you’ve identified this thing, think of the absolute worst case scenario that could happen, should you choose to engage in this. Begin to change the narrative around it. Think of ways to handle the absolute worst case scenario, if it were to happen. Get very clear on what you would do, who would be your support, and what your options would be.
Then, face your fears and think of ways to start stepping into this thing that’s screaming your name but scaring you at the same time. Begin taking action and see how it feels to get lost in things that light you up in spite of fear.
Begin to experience what it’s like to get lost without the fear of losing.
Because in the act of getting lost, you may just discover who the hell you really are.
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